Who in his right mind will molest this thing?
We have had bad times at 69NN but never did
we ever stoop down to this level.
Mr. Rathore – shame on you! You should be
ashamed of yourself. Have some standards for
God’s sake!
Make some better choices from the next time.
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You are doing it the wrong way!!!
Use this instead
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Roger Federer: after playing a "real man"
6
9NN, Bern: Roger Federer, the greatest pussy basher of all times, has now two more pussies to play with (Apparently). For those of you worried, yes, Roger Federer is healthy and doing very well. Yes, he was fine even during the whole of delivery process (surprisingly even during parturition). Earlier, Federer surprised everybody when he did not even once cry publicly during the whole accouchement period of his wife (of course, other than when he was beaten by the less effeminate men of world tennis).
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The greatest player often gets noseated
A
s the Greatest Player of all times, Roger Federer, is about to finish yet another journey to Grand Slam Glory, viz. The Championships – Wimbledon, we write this article in the genuine hope that people will be able to admire the greatness of the man and visualize clearly how tough the competition has been which Roger Federer has vanquished in all earnestness and distinction, worthy of a Great Champion that he is.
Everybody knows that nobody but Rafael Nadal, considers himself (or indeed herself) meritorious enough to incapacitate, the Michael Jackson (albeit an alive one), the Maradona (albeit a one who doesn’t dope), and the Obama (albeit with a little less hope) of tennis, from adorning the crown of tennis – the Grand Slam of Grand Slams – the Championship of Championships – The Wimbledon – with his own mug.
Great are the days indeed for us mortals to behold this great artisan at work chopping and chiseling away sculpture after sculpture of glory and fame. And that too even as level of tennis has reached its summit, and we witness great tennis rivalries unseen in the past (and one does venture to be so bold as to say that future generations will not be beset by any greater battle for tennis supremacy, as seen by the present generation, either).
The quality of tennis and the level of competition is so high that we can barely convince ourselves to call what we see being played out in the fair grounds of Wimbledon – tennis – considering that the term has been used historically (as pejorative, it seems) to quantify what used to transpire between individuals of least ability at either side of the netting streched across the middle of a tennis court, in the pre Federer era. Yes Sir, sometimes it is hard to submit to the fact that the coarse, philistine and most ruffian-like conduct, that the likes of Sampras, Laver, Borg, McEnroe, Connors, Becker, Edberg, etc. succumbed to, in their sorrow-arousing-times, should be addressed with the same name as the exquisite and masterful, play and gamesmanship that King Roger Federer exhibits. But such is force of tradition, we have to live with calling it tennis!
Returning to the central theme of the article, quality of men’s tennis has been soaring to such a dizzy heights that seeds 1 and 2 have played the Wimbledon final since the year of 2004, i.e. for the past 5 years! And what’s more 4 out of these 5 times, number one seed has been the winner! Even this year chances are number 2 and number 3 seeds will be in final. With no Nadal, Federer and Murray are the de facto number 1 and number 2 seeds. Great is the competition indeed. And, the situation has not been much different in any of the other Grand Slams either.
If it was not for the great quality and depth of tennis, even the “almighty” Gawd (that is the one who apparently sits above in the heavens, not RAAger Federer – that is if the two are different) must have felt ashamed with so much amount of predictability and consistency in His “random” world and might have shed a tear or two looking at all this from heavens.
But what great competition our Great, Great, Great, … n times, Lord has seen! And, while other players of bygone era, might fizzle out in such competitive times out of boredom of an excess of competition, the Great Lord keeps on piling Grand Slam titles to his name, such is the tenacity and doggedness of our Great Lord. Not only that, the Great Lord reverbrates with extreme pleasure upon being encroached by articulate witticisms uttered to his advantage. It is indeed true that only a true Champion knows how to revel in such circumstances.
Those who doubt the quality of Roger Federer might consider this fact. In 2008, a clay court specialist, viz. Rafael Nadal, came and conquered our Great Lord in his very home, Wimbledon, the abode of Grass court tennis, and our Lord cries like a charming little baby (what more can a person vouchsafe for greatness!). Nadal has the Great Lord running for his diapers, and now that Nadal is out of competition the Great Lord is back in “prime” and “pristine” form. No longer are his shoulders dropping. No longer is he seen with that grim expression on his face (as if his grand mother had died the same day). And there is a conspicuous spring in his step.
So much so for those who say that there is no competition in men’s tennis. You ignorant, ignominous, and jealous fools, be ashamed of your over-zealousness in persecuting and harassing the Greatest Player of All Times.
Long Live the Lord!
Long Live Roger Federer!
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[We at 69NN, always enjoy bringing to you interviews and
insights into lives of not only really famous and exceptional
people, but ordinary, day-to-day people, who spend there
lives scraping, scratching the surface, looking for nourishment
in garbage bins, and trading their genitals to better their
chances of surviving for another day. One such person is Pete
Sampras. It is needless to say that he is no special person
and just a face in the crowd, nothing to worry about. But
anyway, today we bring not his interview but an appeal
to the great great great, mighty GOD himself.]
Sampras an ardent Pet of Roger Federer cherishes the moment when the Great Lord shook hands with him as if both were equals.
“Dear Roger Federer, please don’t take it to be otherwise, when I say Dear I say so with the same humility as the one with which one addresses his GOD, Dear God for example. You are a God to me. I am a nobody and I understand that I have no right to address you uninvited in this way. And, I understand that I should not talk unless I am talked to. But I put my faith on the magnanimous benevolence of your soul and heart, to beg to you this request with my utmost sincerity of heart and deepest reverence for you. May God strike me down with all his might, right this moment, if I am not sincere in my heart.”
“Dear Roger Federer, I beg to state that you are a God to me and I am nobody but a deprived, depraved and directionless soul without you. Please be so kind to accept me as your chauffeur. I know money doesn’t matter to you, but I won’t ask for a penny. The very act of my being near my God is worth a fortune for me. I would become your pet and I would even re-christen myself as Pet Sampras.”
“With you, all my sins will be atoned for and I no longer would fear facing God on the judgement day. If only, oh! Please consider me worthy of being your chauffeur. Yes it is true that, just like at playing tennis, I am not good at driving either. But dear Sir, have mercy on a poor, weak, old haggard like me, who, though is not worth even one precious moment of your life, and you should not as much as move the tip of your nail even to have me crushed by 100 tons of solid iron or to behead me on a guillotine consisting of rusted heavy blades, is nevertheless a living organism.”
“No Sir, I am not worth the tip of the pubic hair that fell off, the last time you were copulating with that lovely, adoringly beautiful and immensely intelligent Miroslava Vavrinec in the le Bristol hotel, Paris on that sultry but sensual evening. And no Sir, I am not worth the speck of dust that flew off when you spat on the ground out of deep anguish when you were two sets down against that meagerly, miserly and abysmally low esteemed scum called Tommy Hass. And indeed, no Sir, I am not even worth, the strings that broke off when you in your Nike shirt, in your Nike shorts, in your Nike shoelaces and in your Nike headband smashed your racket onto the blue-green hard court with such a force that it could well have been used as a marionette rather than something, to play an approach shot down the ad court.”
“Yes Sir, I fully realize what a mean, meager and scanty living parasite I am. But please do have a mercy on me. Along with driving the car around, I will cook your food, wash your clothes, run your errands and though I have heard you don’t own a house (oh how, humble of you!!), I will clean the windows of the house (whenever you will own one and I promise I won’t even look inside when you and the mistress are having some of your private moments). Please, please, please, please, please, have mercy on me make me your pet, if I am not good enough to be your chauffeur.”
“Of course writing my name is not important, but just for identification purposes,”
– Pet Sampras
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[This Letter to the Editor is a response to a 69NN article
which was not published. Some things might appear out of
context. Kindly beer with us, but pay for own share.]
THE GOD (Roger Federer) himself: in one of the less ceremonial moments
I certainly agree with all what is said in this “artice.”
Well nobody certainly can fail to bow down in submission against mighty God Federer, the real and the only incarnation of Lord Vishnu (the fake ones beware of the wrath of Lord).
Certainly Federer is the greatest player from heaven to hell. And let’s not even talk about this insignificant little planet, earth. Now we know, after all, God did not create this planet from raw dust for nothing. It was destined right from its inception to be conquered by the might of the great great great Roger Federer. And lets not even talk about that worthless pansy “DUDE.” [read Pet Sampras - the Editor]
Now, most people might say, what imtihaans (tests) remain for the GREAT LORD.
But believe it or not some detractors remain who say, “Well ! Please remember that, Margaret Smith Court (24), Steffi Graf (22), Helen Wills Moody (19), Chris Evert (18) and Martina Navratilova (18) remain.”
Now we all know, that these detractors are talking about women’s tennis. And there can be no comparison between the two.
But these detractors (read ass-holes, detractors used so that any ladies present don’t get alarmed) say, “All the women above, along with your GREAT GOD have played tennis against pussies all life. So a comparison is without doubt routine. Whats more many of the women above can be called DUDENES [the feminine form of a DUDE - the Editor] in the same spirit as talked in the article. And your GREAT GOD’s fitness, what can be said about it. Pussies have never hurt anybody. So the GREAT GOD stands tall and doesn’t move because every time he does move he either gets tangled up in net or lands up out of the sidelines.”
But don’t you worry detractors, our DUDE-crusher, mighty GREAT GOD will take care of DUDENES as well. After all OUR GOD is an expert at beating pussies and its the pussies that he will go on playing all life.
So dear-fellow-readers-cum-fans-cum-worshippers-of-the-great-lord-cum-the-most-up-to-date-and-knowledgeable-people-of-the-planet don’t at all feel swayed by these detractors and keep on worshipping our GREAT GREAT GREAT LORD.
THE GOD, Roger Federer is the best tennis player of all times and Sachin Tendulkar is the best test batsman of all times. After all, statistics say so. Don’t you argue. Take the handkerchiefs provided by God and find that elusive corner to weep where you do not hear the name of the GREAT LORD himself. May Roger Federer bless you!
Hail Federer!
Hail THE LORD!
–
regards,
apne prabhu, Federer ka ek adna sa sevak
[A mere footman of his Lord, Federer]
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(4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5) Loading ...69NN, Paris: It is age old adage that sports are not good for drugs. Though some people might argue that it is only true in case of Olympics and other major sports events, but the fact stands that large number of people don’t do drugs because they want to compete in these major sports events (even as there is little or no chance that such a thing might ever materialize for most people).
Simona Halep: Latest victim of sports
There is a growing consensus amongst experts, that sports (especially outdoor sports) are not only bad for drugs, but also for maintaining human body in the form as preordained by God. In recent times, this bad influence of sports has come to the fore time and time again. Latest in this long, but not at all illustrious list, is the case of Simona Halep, the budding and promising 19 year old sensation.
Simona Halep, left the whole world in utter shock with her announcement that she will get under the knife and undergo a surgery to reduce her 34DD sized breasts.
The 17-year-old feels they are a disadvantage and has vowed to have a reduction later this year. “The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play,” the Sun quoted her as saying. “It’s the weight that troubles me – my ability to react quickly,” she added.
However, fans of the Romanian tennis player don’t seem to copy her decision. They flocked to sign an online petition: Save Simona Halep Boobs. Already nearly 350 people have signed the petition the world wide. We give a glimpse, of the agony this whole episode is causing to Breast lovers all over the world, by reproducing some of the statements from the above website:
A shinning glittering plate. Is that all one needs in life?
As can be seen from the reactions above, fans are utterly and truly outraged at this. From threats of violence, to invocation of religious sentiment against this ‘blasphemous’ act, fans don’t want to let any stone unturned to prevent Ms Halep from getting a ‘boob job’, which some see as ’scandalous’. Even US President Barack Obama couldn’t stay put and unmoved by this.
A white house aide to Mr Obama (who did not want to be identified) said, “Whereas it is essential to promote the development of friendly relations between nations, it should be made clear to Romania, that any action taken by the Government of Romania to further the chances of Ms Halep achieving her stated goal, is counter to Article 1 and 7 of the UDHR and would call for a strong rebuttal by the US and may lead to economic sanctions on Romania by the United Nations.”
Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, fresh from his victory in the general elections said, “After the rejuvenating success at General Elections 2009, I feel a forty years younger. As a result, I can see what are the reasons behind the concerns raised by people in certain circles regarding breast alteration plans of Ms Halep.” He added further, “Is is important to realise, what is more important in life? Is that shinning glittering plate given at the end of victory ceremony worth more than those two symbols of womanhood and motherhood.”
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Let’s just see some of arguments in favour of abolishing professional woman sports.
The adverse impact a tennis serve has on a human female body is unparalleled.
A forehand return dislodges a woman's breasts from their medial position like none other.
Do they say anything of that sorts about a video? Nevertheless, here is a video:
As one can see the detrimental impact sports have on the bodies of female sports-women is phenomenal. It is about time that we raised our voice against professional sports. Women in their young and formative years are lead to believe that sports and not their breasts are the most important thing in life. This trend must stop. Professional sports organizations must disallow woman sports events. It is not without thought that our forefathers banned women folk from participating in sports activities. Women should be banned from playing professional sports so that no woman should ever think about altering her assets in any way, to degrade the dignity of womanhood.
With no play we are sure that Ms Halep will no longer feel uncomfortable. As for the trouble caused by the (massive) weight of the breasts, we can only reassure her that there are many able bodied men (and women as well) who would like to hold them up for her. And all she ever needs to do is make an appropriate request (or even demand) for it.
Note: We are not against conspicuous or inconspicuous display of womanly assets in any way that is permitted by professional sports. By all means women are free to (rather even encouraged to) flaunt their assets and brandish them just like a roadside hawker goes on brandishing his wares, but women sports have to be banned as they only foster perverse ideologies such as breast reduction for the sake of their own sustainability.
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