Washington: Irked by Indians, Pakistanis and Kashmiris who cling to “guns and religion,” Obama today proposed peace talks sans Indians, Pakistanis and “Kashmiris.” Stating that, “the conflict has been going for far too long and there seems to be no resolution in sight in the near future, if we let things take their own course,” President Obama said, “the time has come for America to take matters into her own hands.” He went ahead further and added, “Anyway opinions of Americans are the only ones that matter. So why waste time over this tribulation.”

Obama further identified resolution to Kashmir issue to be a ‘major goal’ for his administration. Reacting to queries by a certain skeptical section of journalists, Obama said, “Yes we can. We will bomb them to dust if they don’t agree.”

Outlining the proposed peace talks Obama said, “Me, Senator Joe Biden and Senator Hillary Clinton will all give our heads, and come up with a solution to Kashmir problem, which I am sure will be acceptable to all sides.”

It is to be noted that “mediation” from a third party (or is it fourth?) has traditionally been a stumbling block between India and Pakistan. India insists that there should be no external intervention and all dialogue should be bilateral while Pakistan endorses an opposite course of action. This proposed solution is not only unique and unprecedented but should be acceptable to India as a dialog on Kashmir issue without involving New Delhi and Islamabad is not mediation in any sense of the word.